Friday, 16 October 2015

when they realised they can not kill me, started to kill my loved ones

As brutal as it sounds. When they (and I refer to those who where against the old system of fear and death, let's call them as the good guys and also of those who where aware of what I was about to do, to turn around the system, so at the beginning I had enemies on both sides and ONLY the bad guy helped me who knew enough about the system, who saw it as it is the empire of dirt) realised that, thanks to the newly developed training methods, cannot have good enough killers to finish me off, they started to attack my loved ones. This has a devastating psychological effect on everybody and anybody who is able to feel love and is able to become emotionally attached and take responsibilities.
I felt like hell.
The old system had been based on fear of death, fear of loosing power, so the main driving force was FEAR. This system usually created two different outcome between of those who where strong to resist in some form to the rulers of this ruthless system: one who could be broken based on attacking the self and of those who couldn't be broken that way. This second type usually broke when their loved ones had been subjected to violence. The main idea behind this was to attack at the "weakness" which is emotional attachment toward persons, things anything. Therefore the outcome was insane: those who couldn't let the loved thing or persons go usually broke or died. Those who cloud let them go, they survived but with broken mind and soul attached to nothing anymore. So this system could be survived by only the STRONGEST WHO CUT THEMSELVES FROM ANYTHING, ANYONE. Practically it created very strong psychopaths as conscious and highly trained highly intelligent leaders of the globe.
When I got into the system and we decided with the Old Man (Byrd) that we will turn around it and reform as we proved scientifically and practically that the strongest drive is love, I had to find a solution and some kind of protection on this problem. Because without love i couldn't make any kind of positive changes but to stay alive I had to become some kind of psychopath who can be as ruthless as the old systems leaders are to gain their respect and be heard. This had to be this way because to change we realised that we need to turn some of the best of the bad guys because the so called Good guys usually understand nothing about the power of the occult and telepathy or mind altering satanic rituals or memory tempering, therefore they had no idea about what the problem really is at all, therefore they had no any kind of realistic solution.
So we needed to turn some of them. To do that I had to become something what I did not wanted to be, but I had to build up the usual psychopath mindset to gain their respect, and I had to go that way for real because these guys had the sensitivity and the intelligence to know who and when is lieing so it was impossible to lie to them. So I become a psychopath. I had to.
But I needed to  maintain my own integrity and the base of love in the same time.
To do that we built up a fake character as a base personality to be altered later. This would have given me the immunity to be protected from the mind and soul breaking events what I had to go through. This kind of protection works like as if it wouldn't happened to me, but the character what I "play". This method helped the Old man and his people to preserve some kind of humanity in themselves which root character was based on love and sered a good purpose. But the old man didn't count on the fact that these brutal deeds and events do get damage on the very core of a human being down to the root character because generally the human psyche tries to become a whole, integrated all remembering all connected entity by nature.
This is the reason why the protection started to break down and many of his people started to remember around the age of 27-30 years and this problem lead to the invention of expiration date which was drown at 27 in the 60-70's and was extended as the methods developed later. These people started to integrate the divided mind and started to talk about things what the old man didn't want them to talk.
So the problem was for me: How to avoid becoming a real irreversible psychopath and to maintain my own integrity and the love of life and others in the same time.
"This guy is our only chance. We are loosing this war. And he cooperates."
At the psychologist:
"Try to remember what did you feel when you pulled the trigger. Try to put yourself in that pose, remember the smells, the lights, your body, your senses. And tell me everything."
"Ok. I am laying down in my cover. The gun is at my shoulder. I am looking though the telescope but the target is too far away to have it useful. I decide to take it off. The target is talking to me in my head. (I cannot remember his name now). We are in Spain. I ask him to turn. He said: "Don't worry about me. My time is up now." "But we can help. Just join us." "No. I have no choice. They have my daughter." "But we can help her too." "No P It is over for me. I have done very bad things what cannot be undone. I am glad that you came for me, it means a lot, and I know it will be easy." "Ok. Stop and stand still on that rock I marked." "Yes. I just see how beautiful this land is. If I just could see this earlier..."
I asked the bird to help me where to aim as I couldn't even see the target. The little bird showed where to aim. I pulled the trigger.
At this point the psychologist woman interrupted.
"What did you feel in that very moment?"
I recalled the moment again and replied:
The psychologist nearly vomited she was a highly sensitive person. I was laying down on the floor I didn't see her but i turned around to explain the situation.
"When the cartridge explodes the bullet leaves the barrel and the force pushes the whole gun backward." But when I saw her reactions I stopped. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"Ohh my God P. You don't even realise you have no any kind of emotions when you kill an other human being." She noted desperately thinking that I am already "gone".
"Well you have to understand that we are dong a task when we kill. There is no place for human emotions. We have to fell body sensations for safety, to make the right decisions but we cannot afford there to be emotional about anybody. that part of me had to be shot down. So while I do this I have to concentrate on the tasks to be done to survive and get away alive."
"Ok. P. Just continue. What happened right after the shooting"
"So right after the first shot taken I check if there is a need for an other shot, if so I have to decide in the matter of second an take it if not I have limited time to disassemble the weapon and get out to the change point where i transform myself into an adult motor biker from a playing little boy with a freewheeled plastic biker little boy wondering in the forest. I am aware that there is a chopper in the air because the protection team is very good for this target, so i have to be very quick." And at this point I started to disassemble the gun in the room with a seep what the military guys behind the fake mirror dropped their jaws. The nut for the barrel was a bit tough I sweared, and stopped to explain that I used to cut the screw thread just a little bit until It can be spanned fast. After I disassembled the weapon I have x amount of time until the chopper and the rest of their team respond to the shot taken, so i have to hide the weapon and get away from the scene far enough to be ignored. I knew that they are very good but they still don't look for children as shooters. So I didn't have to rush for long just to get away to the freewheeled toy bike. After to get to the house not far. In the house to change the cover mask and get on a motorbike and hit the road to get out from the search area. That's it. Job done.
The psychologist was quiet, the guys watching also. The woman was close to cry, she couldn't say a word fighting her tears. I felt guilty for some reason. I knew I would have to fell bad about killing that target person, but I didn't feel anything. The woman just held her head tried to cover her face fighting her emotions and desperation. "I cannot do this. I am not strong enough to listen to this anymore." She cried finally.
I felt empty.
I bit of time passed. We set there for a while. Nobody bothered us. It was quiet. I started after a while.
"You do a remarkable job. I feel your love. I met with a whore who loved me fro a few hours and I felt your love in her. I wanted to investigate if it was really you or not, and you treated her. I felt it through her body. I got your love through an other person and I felt it. These whores keep me alive and can restore my human feelings. Your job, what you do is extremely helpful. You cannot even understand how important it is. Please continue with it it counts!"
She stopped sobbing and looked at me through her tear soaked eyes. The two guy in military uniform behind the mirror looked at each other. I continued: 
"I have taken over the empire form the Old man and I will turn it around. But this system cannot be changed by anybody who cannot be that ruthless as they are who rule it right now. I have to make my way though the whole system form bottom to top to understand and analyse it all over. I do have a solution but It needs time and all of those who are well over the point of no return with a broken mind, had to be killed. I have to do this job until there are no others. But I need your help and I need your love to make it happen. If you and your guys do not help I will fail. And this will mean an end to the human race in a foreseeable time."
The guys look to each other again. "Did you hear that?" "He has taken over the old man." "And he wants to turn it around. This is our hope and only chance to change. This is what Maggie dreamt about. She told me this moment will come."
So the old man told me how to do this. And I created a few figures to be my loved ones, instead to risk real persons to be killed because I love them. This is how Chip Tatum was made, how Sky Moitreya was made and many others. These figures where written with extra details and a whole life story what we always updated to make it acceptable for the root alter as PF. Some o them probably real, but I am not sure. The events and emotionally charged memories are real and the real persons who played these characters are real persons but they did the very same as me: developed a root character and from there they developed other fake masks. This way these memories where real but the real personalities remained hidden form each other and form outsiders.
Yeah. Good morning for me. And what now? I feel I've done everything and there is nothing here to do.
"So how did you manage to believe the fake "loved ones" to not see they are fake?"
 Well the characters where made up for specific reasons and targets to achieve but the stories they went though and the actions we done together where bloody real. The emotions where real and the agreed common goal, the agreed conscious principles followed by all of us made the bonding possible and true. However the underlying trick also mixed some kind of remaining doubt too. This factor has it's own effect on me obviously and on everyone who unfortunately has to grow up such environment like me or the oldies before me.
Ohh yes one word about of those from the old system who I left alive and the youngsters did not understand why. I left only those alive who I could find some kind of remains of real love. There was a guy who had been tortured to the point where he broke but still later when he had a daughter he found love ones again. He had become a ruthless killer but he was very good and sensitive so later when I asked them to join our effort to turn the whole system around he did. We had personal live meetings where we talked about our emotions, feelings, goals, experiences and shared our memories tried to understand who went through what, and who was made to do what for what reason. Many times happened that on these very meeting the participants figured out that one killed the other one's relative, friend just because that was the order from above. They where following orders. After they started to think differently and started to question orders and did their own intel on the targets, they realised that many times they are being played against each other to get rid of those who already see too much, understand too much of the system as a whole. There was one guy I remember him from a movie series where i inserted his figure, who loved his daughter so much that he realised that the best thing to do to her is to stay out from her live and only help with the financials. You youngsters you have to understand that these guys where pushed over the point of no return. These guys had to kill their own loved ones, where tricked to do shit, to go to hell and even more. They had been broken. And still they could manage to turn back or to rediscover some kind of love in their love. From your view it doesn't seem much but looking from their path it is a huge effort and enormous work on their side to get to that level. So that tiny bit of love means a very very strong commitment and behind it there is lot of suffering and blood, pain, sacrifice what they had to make to reach it again.
Slowly as the figures changed and the originals died or layed low for long time or abandoned their character passed on to someone else, these figures started to become more cleaner and more subtle, I mean that they lost the original funtion and usually become the cover itself: for exapmle a singer become a singer, an actor become an actor. As they become single holded (it means when one figure is being hold by one root person only) that means that the character is fixed and the player behind will die in it or will be replaced if killed. This phenomena happenes when a figure has too much attention and would be dangerous to change it to many times without getting caught. When I leake too much information and I drawn attection of those who could already see though the masking phenomena, I usually let other infiltrators to take over my figure and let them die in the character. If you follow the principles of sober life than your characters will be target to be infiltrated and be changed by killing you or replacing you with someone who will try to do a U turn with your character when you are away in an other one. This will happen for sure. So you can be prepared. If you follow the original training to the highest quality than you will always know when the applicant for substitution is an infiltrator with bad intenstions. It maight be that this knowledge will be subconscious but you will act accordingly because of the connection live and present and the determination done very well.
When it happenes that character will diminish by time. The top will be aware of the abandonment, because they can follow the changes. Also your support team will know when you abandoned them.
The whole system tries to get more power and money worldwide. For this reason the continously will try to place their programmed masked personal to put in positions of power and money-ownership. CEO-s, directorates, shareholders, and today as they try to hide their own identity, undefined companies with no visible leadership. These an be track down too, however hard it is. They usually travel the money through a lot of businesses and fake companies to gain access to it or to use it up for the actual purpose.
If you do not want to diminish your character which is taken over you can use force to direct it depending on it's level of consciousness. Generally expose used to be enough and telling the truth about what could happen if they get exposed on the outside world.
So we made up a lot of fake personalities to have company for our self. Of course not all of these where fakes. usually My character building method was to use the original movements of the real person, and then to select some of them and build up a history around. This way the character become real and credible.
My case was different from start because I had been surrounded by enemies and enemies only. So I had to figure out the character building process on a special way to alter their view of the world. The training was complex and it had done the job in many cases because it teaches everybody to face reality and truth. Reality and truth does it's own job: wakes up people to the facts. Many of these enemies of mine realised that the only good guy in this story is me. Unfortunately most of them in the same time did not reach the highest levels and could not believe that this system of fear and power-hunt can be changed and they given up fighting it, also concentrating only on hedonistic carpe diem philosophy to not face with their consciousness and feelings of guilt about destroying our home the planet. A relatively large amount of them had no regards at all, however they realised that I am right but they decided to not care and feel no bad feelings. These have to be eliminated from the system because they do more damage than the intentionally bad guys.
But these hunts are done on different ways. Those who had been victim of child prostitution before probably do hunt of those who do child trafficking. And this is perfectly fine. Very well. This pushes up the prices, high prices lower the circle of buyers, and lift up the level of skills what needed to carry out these transports. To gain higher level in training they all need to take my training method seriously. And those who do the right thing will be the better. So by nature's law it is always the good guys who win the battle.
Victory needs preparation.
Or could be some kind of bad day effect when I wanted to destroy and turn everything upside down in these normal worldees. Sky I just cannot relate to it now.
Anyway the change is inevitable. the time when it happenes is questionable because the youngsters do not understand the threats and dangers and the rulesr and the people in position also are not able to oversee the whole picture. For a long time I thought that they are all crazies and imbecils, but by time I learned that many of these are highly intelligent but their conditioning and preset mind cannot digest the advanced knowledge of human psyhology. Of course there where of those also who undersood what I tried to teach to them perfectly but they tried to supresss this knowledge because their power depended and depends on it today. If they share the knowledge they loose power. And they are afraid of that. And when I say "they" i mean all of those who understand the occult way of manipulating collective conscious and subsonsciousness of human communites, and know the ways t maniuate it and especially of those who are addicted to this source of power. They are the main blocks in change. They will die off soon or change. The most smarter ones try to neglect and isolate me whilst they play along with everything I told about the true nature of power. They have to do this because the killing industry already interiorized these facts and they are continoue to train the next generations by this knowledge. They have to do this because the future protection teams are built up out of the best tranees of their own. For this reason they have to train them to the best of their abilities if they want to survive when get out or the pressure grows on them because of the knowledge of masking and recognition of masking and traking the root charaters are developing. So those who try to supress the level automatically die off from the system. And everything hat happenes in the killing industry, has a huge effect on every other area. Why? Becasue these folks man and woman are highly trained not just in killing, they usually have more alters in main areas like money ownership, sciences, trades, I used to train them to pla music becasue it is important for spiritual development and has other practical skills developed also and so on.
So this way it is unstoppable what they can do is only to separate the very best and try to keep the level down as long as they can by urging the best to stick toghether and not to attack each other. But this cannot be kept up because of the addicted nature of them, and the need for more and more and more and also because when they swop characters the infiltration from the lower levels kicks in and they do the very same thing what these used to do but now against them steeling the resources and secrets. So they are not able to stop the process but to slow down a bit, but even this slowdown wont be kept up for long because of the very nature of addiction is to accelerating for more and more. This process will end in total distraction of this planet or total wake up. No other option is available. This process cannot be reversed also because when the facts get out once it cannot be undone anymore. Not today.
Unfortunatly I had to build a dead man switch because they could isolate me (it is done for a certain level) and even kill me by covert means. This cannot be allowd until there is only one person who sees the whole picture all toghether and there is only one who can stick to the only chance for survival of the human race. All the others agreed to build this switch upon my existance because i am the only one who proved in long term to be following the same directions and I am the one who knows every manipulative thechnology. Of course I can be derailed for a bit of time by force but I return when it fades away.
The new system is not set therefore to be kind of revange mashine of killing off sinners of the old system, but killing off everyone who does not understand the real dangers and doesn't follow the only path open.
This makes it possible that still I am being supressed and neglected and being continously attacked by covert means. Still there is no understanding of the mian objectives and why they are important.
A few more words about the alters developed from the root character.
Every character you play can only be credible if you build your own personality into it, even if you use only part of it mixing it up with other signs. This is true about the newly built charaters. When you have to build a written character and you have to get yourself into something already created it has to be made also by building it up from very own experiences and or altered versions of those to make it a real figure.
This means that if you get hurt in these characters you have the chance to look these damages from a distance and heal faster but it HURTS YOU AT THE ROOT AND FINALLY AT THE ORIGINAL CORE TOO. This is very important. The longer time you spend in the rotation and in the jumping between your characters the more you get damaged and these intrusions are becomeing more penetrating. Also the good happenings and the nice experiences are weakening because of the untrue nature of your played character. This whole process goes against the very nature of the human psyche which has a main goal: to be a whole integrate every memory every experience as one person. So the joys and the wounds don't balance each other rather push you to the point when you will try to lessen the number of characters played by you and finally to get back to the original - if there is any to get back to. Many of us grown in the old system does not know who the real biological parent of ours was. Nor we remember the most important first free years in our life even in strong hypnotic state of mind and positive help. Those who are luck to be raise in the new system probobly will have better choces and better environment for the first few years at least. I hope it. So the new system is built in the very nature of our pchyché and cannot be stopped also. Of course not too many can reach that age when these processes start to take strong effects. The representatives of the old system will try to use the same old solution to keep these quiet, to seduce these people of theirs, and to discredit them into some low level figure and let them die or set them up for a fail by derailing them without any help.
I know this knowledge is a lot to take in. And I still don't remember a lot of things. But slowly memories are coming up and I'll share them.
Homosexuality. I made a huge mistake on this field. When I started with my schoolmates becasue I realised that they are already masturbating thinkin of sexual matters and so on... It was probobly a bit too early for them, but this mistake was not the bigone. The bigone was that I tried to share the true love within the homosexual community WITHOUT TRUELY LOVING WHAT I DID. This was the big one. When you try to initiate someone to the true love using the sexual experience you have to be truely loveing it. I didn't. I did it because I admitted that it has to be done with them to, they have to be inisiated, but I was not truly honest with them. I built up a menthal program for it which was based on loving every human being as the creation of nature therefore a holy thing, gone through his path misery and joy. This made me able to do it with some love but at the core I couldn't make it happen, the message didn't gone to the otherside. The more I tried the mroe unsuccessful waves I had to face with. Later these waves become a very agressive and abusive tzunami on the field of man having sex with man. I had to call the same team toghether again to cerrect and to find some solution to this problem. We analised it and tried to fix it. We had to look for real homosexual males who where able to really, truly  love an other male not just his body, but as an other human being as well. It wasn't an easy task I couldn't find any for long time. So we had to abandon the area for a while until we find someone who understanded what we do, why we do it and was honestly doing it at the core. Female front was much easier for the reason of woman can accept an other woman much easier than a male an other male. Because we all came from an other woman's body. So the escalating agressivity in homosexual males happened partly because of my untrue attitude and later it lead to my hatret toward this community, when I only see their wrongdoing.
Falix rom balck orphan admitted that he is afraid of woman, when we tricked him into kissing tatjana as in a male character. The true love what "Tatjana Maslany" felt for him went through that kiss and Falix admitted that he got involved with her sexually and emotionally. He stated about himself as if he is a comitted homosexual an get no attraction toward woman at all. He figured out that it is not true he was afraid of woman, an din most cases in male homosexuality this is the main drive. And this is the main reason why they cannot build a true relationship lasting longer because the very base is fake and untrue. I hated and still I have resentment because of this community and toward this community for the resason they do not step any closer to the truth. And also because they continously try to manipulate me toward homosexuality. This is very tiring. I think probobly this phenomena is present in lesbian community but not to the same level.
These Sky Moitreya videos where created by my trainees after long talks about those subjects mainly. some of them had given back the well understood summary of these talks and conversations we had whilst doing training on character building and other things. Each student reacted differently. Some given back a true and well understood interpretation of the subject as I taught it applied all of it into the character and recorded it by themselves later alone. Some turned it upside down, some altered it sideways, some mixed it with different views with their own. The intersting thing is that my memory came back about these times when we made these especially when it is about stealing and being bad. I had a very bad period being set up to many bad things doing bad things and infiltrating a group who lived on stealing, drugging and so on. Many times happened that these experienes made me to degrade my preferences and got me turn away from the original principles because otherwise I would I could not look after myself for food or shelter. i had to steal. It was the best choice. These things many times had been used against me when I had to go under cover to experience a group of people, the environment, the circumstances, the forces in place, the psyhological effects, the life histories, the strategies working and not working to know and create the utmost deepest analysis of that subgroup for solutions and future strategies built later. In these environments I alwayd needed time to recover from the effect and to thing clearly again. Many times my own "help"ing friend set me up to be exposed in these dameged state of minds to anger other in the intel community to create enemies for me and antisimphaty. I can remember this steeling thing: I enjoyed to do it well. I enjoyed that I could support myself being cut off any kind of work or legal source of support. But this was just a state. Usually after these episodes I always found my way back to the original recovery principles to be a black sheep in the eye of those who very much wanted me dead or if not dead than some kind of idiot, mindless, useless crap to be just laughed at. Well they never succeded with it but they maneged to expose me in these in between state of minds. Well no problem it is not about me eventually. It is about the common goal I suffered a lot and worked a lot. I don't even remember these students who they where. Only one. She tol me later, reminded me later that she played Sky ones. In Bergen.

Interesting that this last recovery took so long time. I think this is the last one. I just hope. No I am not coming bcak here anymore ever. No way. This shit, I had enough of it.
I am listening to these Sky Moitreya  reminders and tears up my wounds. It is sometimes a very interesting mirror of my thoughts and feelings and the very struggle on the search for the natural way, the law of nature what I found and than I had to learn again and again, whilst I had to discover all the different mindsets of relationships and figure out which and how can be a real solution or how could we make it happen how can we make it work. Some of these lads interpreted very well nearly word by word what I told them.  For example "A Defence For Monogamy" is absolute interpretation of my thought back in those days. Just to have a time frame the video with the infinity sign was made somewhere between 1991-95 probably in 1993. I told Baba to produce it because he said it was easy to do such a simple animation on a video, but when he had to reproduce he realised that it is not so easy (on that technological level what we had access to in the 90's, of course today it is easy to manage such thing in the digital age). Also very interesting and heart worming to hear my thoughts from a female entity. Many things are missing but it carries something deep from those days.
I was always asked to make these kind of videos, even today, to record what goes on in my mind. They used to ask me to make my own figure an easily discreditable person. This is the reason why I built up the camera fear to avoid acting out on camera. But the idea was interesting so I did it with a little twist in it... :-D The character also served as an experiment if it is possible to continuously remember very precise specifics whilst you loose other memories jumping in and out of other characters. I basically tested the deepest memory access and store functions of my mind. All the specifics where stored in my mind and we had to paint the tattoos and create the face, the sound, again with each student. It is fascinating how precise the human mind can be and how I could paint again and again the same snake on her arm with no difference. Later I had to invent consciously some differences to build up handlebar for the simple minded to have them able to realise these girls are not the same and the tattoo is "moving" a bit - to have evidence to show it is different.
So it is a "bit" twisted and a good print of my complex mind and life i lived for over 35 years in the top of the intelligence community worldwide.
Yes the tatoo was invented to have it as a hard to reproducate thing but I had to share how to make that too so it has been reproducated by them again.